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Forgive me.

She had written me a card, slipped unseen into my notebook. I found it the next morning as I packed my bag for school. The words stuck with me. Forlorn.

That whole day, before each class, I wrote them on the board. So proud my friend could touch my heart. With just words lonely on the page. Profound.

On the walk to the bus that afternoon she admitted she found them in a magazine. Wanted to have written them. But felt sad when I had gone on and on about how great she was. I don't remember my response. Disappointment?

After school we became housemates. Went to uni together. Shared essays, hitchhiked, cut each others hair. Tried drugs and laughed uncontrollably at how tea-towels bend. Together.

I loved her straight hair, her slow smile, the way she held a cigarette. I loved her sense of cool, her wild ideas, her ferocious abandon. Free.

Later I heard she was taken by heroin. Back then I didn't have the wisdom to see her need to write those words. To show herself forlorn. Forgive me.

'I have eaten the plums you were saving for breakfast.

Forgive me. They were so sweet and cold.'

Author unknown. Dolly magazine circa 1988.

From Erin with love.

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6 Responses to "Forgive me."

  • Fi
    January 10, 2019 - 11:57 pm Reply

    Lovely 😍

    • Madame Yum
      January 12, 2019 - 1:58 am

      Thank you Fi.

  • Tim Block
    January 11, 2019 - 2:37 am Reply

    It’s amazing how such few words can be so powerful. I bet if it was longer it wouldn’t punch the reader as hard in the heart.

    What exactly is the thing that hits the reader enough to feel emotional after reading this story? It is the description of a relationship that was enjoyed and that helped two women to grow. It is the tragedy of a life cut short. It is about loss. It is about the small moments that were experienced that have now grown in significance, rather than diminishing. When the reader reads the story, an energy associated with the girl who is gone is created.

    All of this from such few words.

    • Madame Yum
      January 12, 2019 - 1:56 am

      Thank you Tim, losing friends make you think of those already lost. She was laready lost when I knew her, but I didn’t realise. Erin

  • Lynden
    January 12, 2019 - 1:59 am Reply

    Beautiful and touching, I have a tear in my eye.

    Your friend gave you the gift of words she knew you would love. Even if she didn’t write them. How wonderful to have a friend who knows your heart.

    • Madame Yum
      January 12, 2019 - 2:03 am

      Thank you Lynden. I feel I can honour that gift now.

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